I love the [i]Alice in Wonderland[/i] reference. I find I bring up that caterpillar every time I try to explain the Hookah to someone new.
| Hookah Brilliance |
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| Thursday, 17 April 2008 01:33 | |
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An original piece written by the famous English author, Arathaniel Horne... perhaps you've heard of him.
I swear that there is nothing illegal about it. I’ve been doing it for months now, and there have been no legal ramifications. Whenever I describe it to someone, I get all sorts of weird looks. The eyes narrow, the eyebrows come down, and the nose crinkles just a bit. “A what?” they’ll ask. “A hookah,” I’ll respond. “It’s Turkish.” The eyebrows go down just a bit more. “You smoke what out of it?” “Oh, it’s tobacco. Really it is.” “Tobacco?” “Yes, you see it is a mix of tobacco, and either molasses or honey, and flavour.” “Flavour?” I nod affirmative, “Oh yeah, all sorts of different things, like grape, strawberry, peach, really anything one could possible want from an orchard or finely kept garden.” The eyes narrow a bit more. “How exactly does it work again?” This is when I pull out the flowcharts and diagrams. “You see a hookah can vary in height anywhere from 17 to 38 inches. At the top is a ceramic dish…” “You mean, like a bowl?” “Yes, I suppose it could be qualified as a “bowl” but I do not like to think of it in those terms.” “So, it’s a bowl?” I frown, “Alright it is a bowl. Moving on.” “What kind of bowl is it?” I am slowly growing frustrated, “Never mind about the bowl.” I turn back to by diagrams. “The tobacco goes here. It is covered with tin foil and a few holes are poked into it. There are special charcoals that are made for the hookah. They burn for an hour or so. Once you light them up, they just keep going.” “The charcoal goes on top of the tin foil which covers the bowl?” “Yes, exactly. “ “Well, then, how big is this bowl anyways?” “Would you please let the bloody bowl go. I am no longer talking about the bowl.” “Fine, calm down. Quit flailing your arms like that.” “Sorry, I get a little sensitive when people compare the hookah to a… well, you no what I am talking about. Anyway, at the bottom of the hookah is the base which is filled with water…” “Wait a second, this is all sounding a little familiar.” “Of course, it does. You live in Qu’Appelle don’t you?” “Yeah.” “Well, forget whatever the back streets of our merry little town have taught you. This is completely different. When one sucks on the hose, of which there could be up to four of them, the flavour is evaporated off the tobacco, then brought through the stem and filtered through the water. The taste is incredible, absolutely fantastic.” “Really? Still kinda sounds like it’s illegal.” “Well, it’s not.” “Have you tried it in other ways. You’re sure you can’t smoke …” “No! You can’t.” “But… it has a bowl…” “Would you give the bowl a rest please. It is not illegal. I swear. I mean, it has to be good if the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland can use it.”
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